Author: Michael Uniacke

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A surgical model of rectitude

August 12, 2015 by Iben Blom Hansen Leave a Comment

A Pain in the Poo Factory 02 Are colorectal surgeons models of rectitude? The question just begs to be asked. This one was. “You’ve got bowel cancer. Near the appendix, where the small intestine joins the large one. We’ll jump on it quickly. Keyhole surgery is the way to go and we’ll do it in […]

Filed Under: A Pain in the Poo Factory

Something Positive Lurks Inside

August 12, 2015 by Iben Blom Hansen Leave a Comment

Some positive news quickly led to the extraordinary experience of a stay in hospital. This blog, A Pain in the Poo Factory, tells the story Santha, my GP in Castlemaine, had some positive news for me. The poo test I’d done was positive. In fact it was so positive that she would book me in for […]

Filed Under: A Pain in the Poo Factory, Blog

Needledum and Needledee

August 12, 2015 by Iben Blom Hansen Leave a Comment

A Pain in the Poo Factory 07 I must have been about four or five years old when my mother took me into a building in Canterbury road, in Canterbury, in the inner-eastern suburbs of Melbourne. It was probably a church hall. It was loud and noisy; steel filing drawers slammed and footsteps and heels […]

Filed Under: A Pain in the Poo Factory, Blog

The End Game

August 12, 2015 by Iben Blom Hansen Leave a Comment

A Pain in the Poo Factory 09 Gradually I became unplugged. The catheter went first, a short but unnerving experience which felt like one’s insides were being yanked out via a small tube through a very tiny opening. Next to go was my deals on wheels. I said goodbye to the pyramids and decided they […]

Filed Under: A Pain in the Poo Factory, Blog

The bullet holes

August 12, 2015 by Iben Blom Hansen Leave a Comment

A Pain in the Poo Factory 07 Emma changed my dressings. Considering that in theory I was opened right up, it was unbelievable that there were just four bandages. The largest one was in the middle of my belly near my navel, and the centre of a blaze of colour, like a fiery desert sunset. […]

Filed Under: A Pain in the Poo Factory, Blog

Code Blue

August 12, 2015 by Iben Blom Hansen Leave a Comment

A Pain in the Poo Factory 06 A smiling Malaysian doctor looked down at me as she adjusted my oxygen mask. “Do you know where you are,” she asked. I was bathed in gentle morning sunshine on a lovely little palm-fringed beach on Xanadu. Olivia Newton-John cradled me in her arms, her eyes brimming with […]

Filed Under: A Pain in the Poo Factory, Blog

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Article from the Vault

Why your remote doesn’t have a dumb button

What is dumb, and what is mute? Earlier this year, Deaf Victoria asked journalists not to use the expression “deaf-mute” to describe deaf people who … Read On...

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